By Allan Pinches
Some practical suggestions on how participants can use their key workers relationship more pro-activity and how to SQUEEZE the most possible healing and well-being ‘juices’ out of the key worker relationship.
Ask lots of questions: maximise your options by asking your key worker to outline a full range of such methods and strategies as:
• how to avail of other services in the area
• possible linkages to other community facilities
• self-monitoring, coping and self-management techniques which may have helped others, particularly participant-generated ideas
• day-to-day support needs and the participants own personal support network
• Crisis contact numbers and a rough guide to the workers times of availability
• Special ‘contract’ items between worker and participant i.e. – what the key worker will or won’t do and what the participant will or won’t do.
• The participant can negotiate about interventions or methods they find appropriate or not, and in turn they can give guarantees about behaviour not acceptable from them.
‘Brainstorm’ with your key worker on what conditions you would like to create in your life and what you would like to achieve, say in the next 2-3 years. For instance, in terms of work/meaningful activity, education, creative outlets, recreation, social and support networks, personal relationships, sexuality, spiritual/wholeness needs, mental and physical health, accommodation, self-care, finances, possessions, travel, holidays and fun, plus any other important aspiration the participant might have.
Start with small and achievable goals. As you fulfil your goals and grow in confidence, with each success, you can get progressively more ambitious. (But remember the ancient wisdom that it is often not the destination, but what is learnt and experienced on the journey that counts). It may be a spin-off of an activity that holds the value, rather than the activity itself. Venerated psychologist C.G. Jung was once asked what was the surest path to self-realisation. He replies without a second’s hesitation: The detour. Always the detour!
Develop a ‘plan’ of self-help methods and strategies to help you get out of difficulties at any time. This can be simple or elaborate and would consist of such things as self-healing, coping, monitoring, self-management, and reality checking methods that you can individually swing into action when needed.
These may range from affirmation on wall charts, a self-designed ‘program’ of daily activities or helpful reading materials, though to stress-relieving meditation, using relaxing music or taking interest in study or a hobby. It is really important to not become too isolated, look after one’s physical health, have good nutrition, get regular exercise and avoid harmful substances. All these issues could be strategically addressed in a plan.
Track your progress, new insights and ‘breakthroughs’ by keeping a personal diary. As well as helping to keep you on track, and provide inspiration during hard patches, writing about issues and feelings can help with coming to terms with issues; reduce anger over issues just like talking about it, and stopping worrying cycles and issues ‘going around and around’ in your head, by sort of ‘pinning’ them on paper, releasing you from the need to keep them in your active memory, and allowing you to get on with other things.
Some therapists even suggest a dedicated ‘worry time’ for an hour each day, at a fixed time, deferring worrying to that time. It can also be a good idea to try to do any ‘homework’ your key worker may suggest. It can be helpful to take notes during session with your key worker.
Allocate time for fun, enjoyment and humour. Make sure you get time for walking outdoors, enjoying nature. Light and the colours of nature are therapeutic, and exercise can help lift depression and walking is great for getting fit, slimmer and healthier. Try to schedule in at least one activity that you genuinely enjoy every day, as this can give you a big lift. And ‘laugh and the world laughs with you’. Watching selected programmes on TV can help beat the blues, or renting a comedy video. There are also cheap-priced try-outs for rookie comedians you can go to which can be fun. Or being in a studio audience for TV show taping which are often free
Learn to appreciate the ‘little things’ about life that are affirmative and good. A smile from a friend, an unexpected act of kindness from a stranger, a little baby, a beautiful scene in nature as you soak up the sunshine beneath a friendly old tree. That’s how it begins. Soon more and more substantial positives will come to light. If you find yourself jaded about life and lacking in hope and interest in things, it seems from the experience of some recoverers that there is just a hair’s breadth of distance between being interested in nothing and being interested in everything!
It just takes a small shift of mental outlook, often helped along by a little ray of hope.
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